Breeches

What is up with all the breech babies!?

Within just the past two weeks, it seems like everybody's baby flipped breech. A colleague of mine attended TWO surprise breech home births within the same week. This is ridiculously unusual. This morning, my doula client had a version in the hospital because her full-term baby suddenly decided to turn breech. Yesterday, I did a home visit for a woman on bed rest who also has a breech baby. What gives?

And, it's not just me. All the other midwives and doulas I'm regularly in contact with are claiming the same thing. I hate to be woo woo about it, but could this actually be more than just coincidence? The world has had some major changes within the past two weeks. Something's making all these babies turn. Something's up.

Anyway, so I did this home visit yesterday for the client of a midwife colleague of mine who was at a birth at the time and couldn't make it to the appointment. The woman (the client) happened to live in an honest-to-goodness mansion. We're talking multi-millions of dollars worth of a home. It was jaw-dropping gorgeous. She was super nice and respectful and not at all pretentious, but it was the very first time that I found myself ever so slightly envious, not of her home, exactly, but of the fact that she could provide such apparent stability to her current child and unborn baby.

Not having anything to do with her personally, I realized that I was surprised at being envious. I've never been jealous of other people's stuff before! I'm actually resentful of the fact that it feels like we'll never be stable enough to be able to have a child of our own. The "stuff" a child requires is easy. I know I can get free clothing and furniture and all that good stuff. What I don't have (and won't have a child without) is all the other stuff that matters a whole lot to me - healthy grandparents, affordable health insurance, life insurance, retirement, a savings account, job stability for both of us (well, mine will be stable but unpredictable), someone to relieve the burden of a mentally ill mother-in-law because I just can't deal anymore, being able to buy groceries whenever I want without waiting for payday, being able to pay my midwife a respectable fee, having access to the luxuries of acupuncture, massage, etc...the list goes on.

I will not burden another being with the struggles I created or inherited. At this point, I cannot even imagine being able to have my own child. It's bothering me for the first time. It's actually starting to get to me.