Perspective

Tony and Lucy leave in 190 hours.

We're almost there, folks!

Or at least that's when I think they're leaving. As I was surprised to find out last night, they're on a WAIT LIST for their flight home. I'll be lighting a candle for that one.

The last time they were here was so different than this time. We were still living under the BART tracks on San Leandro Boulevard, for one. I was planning to become a midwife and had just enrolled in school, but I was having a hard time finding an apprenticeship. Still being fairly new to the family, I was ever so pleasing about hosting, driving, cleaning, and entertaining during their 7 weeks here. Well, with Louis at work, I didn't have much of a choice, but still. I put my life on hold during their stay, but my frustration was mostly that there wasn't much to put on hold. Their last trip helped put things in perspective for me, and helped me realize exactly what I wanted (an apprenticeship), when (NOW), and why (because I really wanted to be a midwife).

I remember calling T the day they left. We were newly friends then but I was comfortable enough with her to vent about how I really wanted to be an apprentice so that I wouldn't HAVE to stay at home entertaining family just because I had nothing better going on. T said something like, "lemme check with someone and I'll call you right back." She called the midwife she was training with, raved about me (putting her reputation on the line), and strongly suggested the midwife take me on as an apprentice. I'll never forget her for that. Fortunately for me, the midwife agreed and she took me on. Tony and Lucy left on a Friday and by the next Wednesday, I was an apprentice.

This time around, my frustration now comes from having so much to put on hold during their trip. I am definitely way less pleasing, patient, and nice. I actually have a life now, and I certainly didn't appreciate it being interrupted. Still, their trip has helped put even more things in perspective for me, and I'm hanging onto hope that some good will come of this experience.

Like most people my age, I have a keen sense of how loudly my biological clock is ticking. Even my mother-in-law knows it's getting to be that time, as evident by the Mother's Day card she gave me this year with the inscription, "Want to be a mother? Hurry, get pregnant fast." Goodness. Yes, yes, I've been hearing the messages loud and clear. I know my pelvic bones are fusing at this very moment. I know Louis is ready. Kids are portable. I have a great support system. There's never an ideal time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Truth is, I'm just not feeling it yet. I still have so many things I want to experience and accomplish first, like the obvious one of earning the title of Licensed Midwife (I'm so close!). But, just as Tony and Lucy's last visit was a catalyst to get moving, this trip has been as well. Number one on my to-do list before a baby is to visit Walsenburg, Colorado. I'm the only person on the family tree who hasn't been there and I just need to. I have to see where I come from. I want pictures for my family history book. I want to sit in the church where my grandparents were married, and visit grave sites of my ancestors. I have to go.

So, when I got an unexpected check in the mail the other day (I got a refund from my school for double-paying my preceptor and Casa), I decided it was a sign that I needed to move things along. In September, there's a conference called Advanced Life Support in Obstetrics for OBs and midwives that will be held in Albuquerque. My favorite mentor (aka my favorite midwife from Casa) will be going to the conference and encouraged me to register as well. So, I did. Conveniently enough, Albuquerque is located directly south of Walsenburg, a mere 4 1/2 hours down I-25. After the conference, we'll be taking a road trip together. It was actually her suggestion, and I'm pretty honored she'd be willing to do it with me. We'll also be stopping at her mom's place in Taos and visiting the former Casa director in Colorado.

For me, it will be the trip of a lifetime. Part gift to myself for surviving the summer and part check-off item on life's to-do list. I'll be able to calmly and rationally re-visit the whole baby idea once I've gotten this major accomplishment out of the way. I'm super, duper excited!