I've only been sleeping a couple hours at a time lately, but I've been having super vivid dreams. Last night, I had a dream about being back at Casa and finding out that it was closing. I saw all the midwives, students, staff, and clients but the most intense part of the dream was that I felt the super strong sadness that I originally felt when I heard the news. In the dream, I relived the feeling of knowing that I would never see those people again, never be in that building again, never catch a baby there ever again, etc. It was such a sad feeling that I'm surprised I didn't wake up crying.
Today, I found out that our favorite family restaurant, Bancheros, has closed for good. Apparently it closed this past Monday without any warning. We still have gift certificates for Bancheros that we had specifically been saving to use on postpartum comfort food, but now we're out of luck. Like the dream, I feel really sad about all the "never again" moments. My grandparents started going to Bancheros back in the 1950s and our family has eaten there ever since. We celebrated major events like birthdays and graduations, and more than one pregnancy was announced there. It was where Louis and I went for a celebratory dinner the night we saw two pink lines that let us know we had a baby on the way.
I've been enjoying Bancheros food since before I was born. I'm glad Olivia got her own prenatal and postpartum taste of soup and garlic bread but I'm sad she won't really be able to enjoy the food with family in the future. What a sad day.
What's up with the vivid dreams?
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