Charting Class

Tomorrow (okay, later today), I am taking my first midwifery training as a new mom.  It's a huge deal for me because I am both excited about the class but also super anxious about leaving Olivia at home all day.

It's past midnight but I'm still trying to get all my stuff together so I'll have less to do in the morning.  I gave myself a manicure and a pedicure, picked out my most professional outfit (that I can wear a nursing tank under) and packed my breast pump and laptop bag.  I am SO relieved I don't have to do this on a daily 9-to-5 schedule.

Tomorrow's class will be just four hours long, but we have a two hour peer review just before that, plus an hour long commute each way.  All together, it will be a really long day.  Fortunately T and I will carpool and she'll be driving in case I have to pump while on 880.  I realize that I'm excited about the class because it feels like my first official day back at work, plus I really miss hanging out with T, plus the class is being taught by my midwife, who is back in town!

I was so torn about bringing Olivia with me.  It's a midwifery training, so everyone understands that newborns and mothers are supposed to stay together, but I really want to be seen as professional and serious about taking the training.  A couple midwives said I should bring her, but I know I wouldn't be able to concentrate and take notes while she was fussing or knocking off the nipple shield as I try to discreetly feed her.  And, she's due for a major poop, and I just would not want to deal with that during class.

I know Olivia will be just fine at home with daddy all day, but I'm still worried.  I'm leaving my baby for the longest time ever and for the farthest distance.  It's so hard!