Baby

The birth happened today. Beautiful baby girl born into my hands. She came out licking her lips.

I got my butt seriously kicked. Adrenaline rush led to adrenaline crash and I'm so exhausted I could cry.

T saved my life. I owe that lady more than I could ever repay. But I'll start by writing her a check for double the normal assist fee. I absolutely needed her help and just her presence. Amazing, she is.

I need better suture skills. Or maybe just lots more confidence. But I will not settle for doing an "okay" job. I'm beating myself up, I'm having second thoughts about being a midwife at all, and I haven't seen my baby girl in over 12 hours. Still, I have lots to be thankful for tonight and definitely felt a little divine presence. I believe in the grace of God.

To my client, I'm either going to be a hero or loser, depending on how her side of the story plays out. I'll just have to wait and see.

This is one crazy job.