Dog Drama

I'm having a hard time.

Back in August, I started walking at the park near us for 30 minutes every single day. I loved it. Those 30 minutes became my sacred alone time each day, when I could listen to podcasts or music of my own choosing! It became such a peaceful and enjoyable experience for me.

I also noticed myself feeling stronger and more confident as a result of the walking. By October I had lost 10 pounds and dropped a size. I felt great. I started thinking about possibly training for a 5K and I started to incorporate short bursts of jogging into my walk.

When Loretta came to visit, I invited her to come walking with me and she was so surprised at my progress and dedication. We talked about apps I should check out, how to stretch before and after, and other exercises I could incorporate into my walking time while I was at the park. We were really into our conversation when the pit bull ran up from behind and bit my arm.

I was totally shocked that it had happened and also upset that it was so painful! We never progressed to jogging that night and just went back home.

I've been struggling with this ever since, because when I went back to the park after the incident, I just felt scared the whole time. Every dog was suspicious and I couldn't relax and enjoy my time like I had been. A few times I would see a dog coming my way and i would just turn around and walk the other way. 

I've had a massage and acupuncture since the bite and talked to a bunch of people about what happened. Every medical professional, police officer, and dog owner I've spoken with says its some kind of miracle that I didn't have a chunk of flesh taken out of my arm. I feel like that, too. I'm so confused about how I didn't end up with a serious bite wound.  I'm so thankful, scared, angry, and confused all at the same time.

I'm going back and forth about dogs in general and pit bulls specifically. I find most all dogs scary now. I hate that. I also hate being afraid to use the park now. I'm so resentful.

One very wise person I spoke with about the bite says that this is basically a test point (a "karmaic shift") for me to decide if I'm going to keep going or give up with my exercise and health goals. I definitely feel like giving up at the moment because I'm so scared to encounter a dog again but I also feel so yuck and I really, really miss the exercise.

I've been going to Zumba once a week and loving that, but I need to keep up with the daily thing. I want to go back. I have to go back. I don't know how to get through this, but I know I need to. I want the dogs to leave me alone.