Pediatrician

I took Olivia to visit her pediatrician today, since we needed some paperwork signed for the preschool applications. We talked about the visit for several days and she was beyond excited that she was going to go for a check up "just like Daniel Tiger!" We ran over what to expect again in the car on the way to Kaiser, and I downed some Rescue Remedy to calm my anxiety that was so extreme I thought I was going to be sick.

I was overly pleasant and cheerful and smiley with the office staff and I was fortunate that they were nice back. Navigating the health care system as a mom is a wild experience. 

Anyway, we checked in before our appointment time and I was given two forms to fill out. One was the checklist of developmental milestones but the other was the so-called informed consent for immunizations that she described as "the form to fill out to give permission for treatment in case another family member brings her in."  Seriously, how insulting. I read it and left it blank although I was seriously tempted to write "REFUSED" across it like I did with my prenatal paperwork. But, I was pretending to be nice, so I just handed it back with a smile.

We were called in right away and O was asked to step on the scale and then stand under the height measurer and then they took her blood pressure. They walked us down the hall for the vision test and asked O to stand several feet from the letters and to say which letter the medical assistant was pointing to. In typical O fashion, she remained silent. I swear she is the stubbornest kid I've ever met. As we walked down the hall to the exam room, O whispered to me the letters the lady had been pointing to, lol. Her vision is fine.

This was our second visit with our pediatrician and it was totally different from last time. He barely acknowledged O at all except to call her "princess" and I barely exchanged any words with him. He checked her eyes and ears but she refused to open her mouth for him. She looked so scared, which just sucks because she was so looking forward to her doctor visit. Last time he was super talkative. Was it because it was our first appointment or because Louis was there?

When he wanted to check her abdomen, instead of asking, he told her "you need to lie down, princess," and gently pushed her while she was shaking her head no,  which gave me the creeps. I don't want any man telling her that, ever. I made him stop so I could hold her in my arms while he finished the "exam" and she was okay.

He checked her electronic records and asked if she's a good eater. Yep. He asked if we had any issues or questions and I told him we just needed the paperwork signed. Then, he looked at her vaccine record and asked, "but she's had some vaccines, right?" Nope. "Ohhh," he goes, "well, you know measles is here." Yes, I know. "And you know you'll have to sign a waiver once she starts school." Uh-huh. "Well you know we have some legal stuff we have to deal with and you'll have to sign some forms." Okay, sure. 

So he leaves to get "some forms" for me to sign and we wait. Another medical assistant comes in to ask if she's had her vision and hearing tested and I explained what happened with the attempt with the letters earlier. She asked how old O was so I told her two years and nine months and she says, "oh, well we don't test that early because we figure they don't know their letters yet but that's great that she does." Huh? She gives me a printout with her stats and a note to return for another visit after she turns four.

I ask her about the paperwork we need him to sign for school and she goes out to track him down. A few minutes later she comes in and hands me the signed blank vaccine record and a letter on Kaiser letterhead saying O has had "a complete health evaluation." Written across the top of the letter in bold letters is, "There is no immunization history on file for this patient. MOM HAS ELECTED TO REFUSE ALL IMMUNIZATIONS."

Mom has refused? And for goodness sake, Kaiser, learn the difference between "immunization" and vaccine. They are not interchangeable. I do not refuse immunizations. I reject your vaccines. And by the way, her dad had a say in the decision, too. But way to portray me as an emotional looney.

Her doctor comes back in to say goodbye and I put on my sweet act again, thanking him for all his help.

I cannot wait for the vaccine issue to blow up so big that the truth can no longer be denied and our entire patriarchal medical system will collapse upon itself.

Meanwhile, I so want to make a bumper sticker. "Mom has elected to refuse all immunizations." lol! My badge of honor.