Happy New Year

2012 has been an awesome year so far.

Thanks to a recent real estate commission, a large unexpected refund, and a super generous gift from family, we almost have the full midwife fee already!

Christmas was really great and low-key this year. No major stress for either side of the family. Baby got a bunch of gifts, and Santa was especially good to us.

Christmas break was also good for me and Louis. For the whole first half of my pregnancy, I never felt like I had enough time with Louis. Between the weddings and the musical, his two jobs, my big homebirth gig, and my other work, it felt like we were barely together. By the time his winter vacation rolled around, I was desperate just to have his undivided attention. The first few days, I was so hopeful we could knock out a few items on my nesting list, and just "be" the three of us at home, but, it didn't happen. Work called, lunch dates were set, parties happened, and shopping needed to be done.

About halfway through his vacation, I whined and complained and pouted about not getting to spend time with him and pointed out (repeatedly) that this would be the last free time we'd get to spend together before the baby arrives. And then, I just stopped fighting it. I let go of my hopes and expectations that we would actually get to hang out as a couple instead of living from one obligation to another. I was depressed about it at first, but then, like magic, things got better. By the end of his vacation, we had actually crossed some items off the nesting list, we spent a couple mornings hanging out in our pajamas and having breakfast together like normal people do, we talked about the baby and the near future, and we both calmed down a lot. We had fun playing with our new gifts and spending our gift cards together. Once I let go, I did start to have fun at our gatherings. I still maintain that I don't get to spend enough time with him as I would like, but I suppose there are worse problems to have after 7 years of marriage.

Our little gymnast has been moving lots lately. Some kicks are big enough now to see through my clothing. Speaking of clothing, I have officially transitioned to maternity clothes, at least on the bottom. I bought two pairs of jeans, which I hope will last me through these last few months. I think I may finally be at the point where it looks like I'm pregnant and not just gaining weight. I notice baby likes to move a lot in the early morning, just about the time daddy has to get ready for work. Baby has gotten used to the sounds of the piano as well as the sounds of Pandora. We continue to read Dutch stories to baby before bedtime, and lately daddy has been adding in some Dutch nursery rhymes that Opa wrote down from memory.

If our baby was born today, he or she would have a 50% chance of survival. It's certainly not something I'm putting a lot of energy into thinking about, but it is really cool to think that our little ball of cells is becoming a person. I have another prenatal appointment coming up this weekend, and so far, everything has been right on track with no signs of complications.

Friends and family have started to offer to host baby showers for us, which Louis is really excited about. I could go either way, but I vow not to stress about it. At this point, it looks like we've signed ourselves up for five showers between family, our San Leandro life, our Fremont life, friends, and a blessingway. I will not stress. I will not worry. It will all be fine. I have plenty of patience to answer the same twenty questions over and over and over again :)

We're having a baby this year!