Until last night, Louis and I hadn't actually had a conversation in more than a week. We both stayed up late to vent to each other about what's been going on in our individual lives. I admitted that I often feel like I'm on the verge of losing my mind when I start balancing the mom and midwife roles. I told him this week was so hard that I was seriously worried about my mental health. When our neighbor attempted to commit suicide last month, Louis took it really hard and I know it was kind of a shock to hear how much I've been struggling. It really helped to talk with him last night and I felt much better today.
While I headed off to a prenatal visit, he took Olivia to a campaign event and then came home early to put her to bed, since she hadn't napped today. When I told him I was on my way home, he asked me to stay out a little longer so he could put her down without interruption. I didn't need to be asked twice! I ended up at CreAsian and enjoyed a chicken tikka masala dinner by myself while I emailed and Facebooked on my ipad. It was truly luxurious.
When I got the all clear from him to come home, my baby girl was fast asleep. He said she had whimpered for mama and insisted on clutching her baby doll before she would fall asleep. I felt guilty for not being here. And then I remembered how much I enjoyed my dinner and time alone. And I still feel guilty.
Olivia is coming with me for my final prenatal visit for T's practice tomorrow. T comes home on Monday and I CANNOT WAIT. I have more appreciation for how hard she works and I will be so much nicer to her once she's home!
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