Yeah, that happened all of twice. Either he has other plans or she refuses to leave my side. I've finally resigned to the fact that I have to bring her along to the meetings if I want to attend. The good part is that the meetings are held in an open space in a toy store and there are often other kids there for her to play with.
Tonight's topic was herbal medicine for women and the speaker was my very own naturopathic doctor. It was a super interesting presentation... until Olivia started fighting with another kid about who had the toy first, then she wanted to nurse, then she wanted a snack, then she wanted to run around, then she loudly announced that she wanted to go home.
We finally left because I just couldn't take it anymore. Talk about embarrassing.
As we were packing up to leave, I got a call and voicemail from a midwife colleague who was asking if I was available to assist her at a birth in September. I called her back to thank her for thinking of me but told her I wasn't able to be available since my husband is managing a campaign as his third job and I can't rely on him for any childcare. She has an older kid, so I know she understands but I still felt awful.
Last week I turned down an offer to do some admin work for fifty bucks an hour for another midwife. I'd love to take the job but what would I do with Olivia? It's too long to leave her with someone else and she's still too young to keep herself entertained for any real amount of time.
I haven't been to any midwife meetings lately, including peer review, which is something required by my license. I feel very much out of the loop of all things midwifery related.
When we got home tonight, I was greeted by an overflowing sink of dishes, a dirty bathroom, garbage that needed to be taken out, ants in the kitchen, laundry piled in the hallway, and a broken freezer. I'm so tired of doing everything around the house by myself. It's so hard to keep up and I feel like my house is always a mess.
I need a wife.
I also got bombarded today with the details of setting up prenatal appointments for the clients I'm taking care of while T is out of town. She has such a busy practice! Everyone needs a prenatal visit within the next two weeks, which means separate home visits (one in downtown San Jose!) so that I'll be running all over the Bay Area. Still, I'm grateful for these short moments I get to work, because otherwise it feels like I'm contributing nothing to the world.
I'm tired of this campaign and I want my husband back. And a cooked meal from him once a week would be awesome.
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