Things are happening so quickly that I want to try to get everything down in writing before I forget.
Olivia and I, along with my chiro friend and her two kids, took Amtrak to Sacramento yesterday. Louis drove O and I to the station because he stayed home sick with diarrhea (that's a whole other post). We got stuck in traffic and made it to the train with about 30 seconds to spare. Phew. O had a blast on the ride up because she got to play and act silly with the other kids. It was nice to watch her make new friends. When we got to Sac, we headed to the line of taxis but I was shocked when they turned us away because we didn't have carseats for the kids. What!? Who drags around carseats for taxi rides? The last time we went to Sac I had zero issues taking a cab with O on my lap. Ugh. We ended up walking the 10 blocks to the capitol in the blazing heat. With three whiny kids. Grr.
Because our walk took so long, we essentially missed the entire march and rally. I was so bummed! We did get to hear the chants of "kill the bill!" as we rounded the last corner, though, and it was quite impressive the way the sound bounced off the buildings. The crowd was huge! There was a sea of red and tons of signs. The energy was electric.
We stopped to buy lunch at a deli and then got in line to go through security. Each entrance had a line that wrapped around the building, that's how many people there were. We went upstairs to get in line for the hearing but someone nicely stopped us and explained our choices for where we could go to either wait in line to testify or sit and watch the hearings. We chose to head upstairs to the gallery room that overlooks the hearing room. I scarfed down my lunch while in line, feeding bites to O. Some kid next to us had brought a stack of those little paper drink cups and was having fun stacking them and knocking them down. O and the other kids joined him and that kept them all occupied for the half hour or so that we had to wait in line.
Just as I was stepping through the doorway into the gallery, a group of 8 adults came up to say that they had been turned away from the hearing room because there wasn't space and were told to come up to the gallery where there was a row waiting for them. The sergeant at arms counted the seats in the room and came back to say there were 8 available. I started to panic but he was great with saying that he had to give the seats to all of us who had been waiting in line. Phew. We were some of the last people to make it into the room.
The air conditioned seats were awesome and so much better than waiting in the hot hallway with the main crowd. The hearing was at least 20 minutes late to start, which was annoying. I had hoped to nurse O to sleep during the hearing but even though I kept offering the boob, she just wouldn't or couldn't sleep. So she was super tired, hot, and bored, and I had to keep her still and quiet for FOUR hours. Yeah.
The hearing itself was fascinating. This was my first time being in the room to watch and hear everything going on. Every time the bill's author spewed lie after lie, we couldn't help but gasp. I couldn't believe he could get away with saying practically anything he wanted without being able to back it up. There were moments when some really great questions were asked and we felt like the assemblymembers were starting to get it. There were also some moments that were just awful, like when Lorena Gonzalez spoke with such an arrogance and attitude that we were all stunned. WTF was her problem!? I was appalled and embarrassed for her. She seriously seemed unstable. Questioning the credentials of our Harvard-grad lawyer?! At that point, a mom downstairs lost it (we were all on the verge, after listening to lie after lie) and got up to shout at Gonzalez. The mom had to be escorted out and I didn't get to hear everything she was saying, but I heard something about how Gonzalez would feel differently if it had been her kid seizing on the floor.
I thought our expert panel did a great job, being more blunt and straightforward than in the past. It was clear to anyone watching just which side was more informed and well-researched. We were told that the hearing would end at 5, but it kept going on because there were so many questions. When it was time for the public comments, my friend and I asked if we could be first in line because we had a train to catch. We were the first in the gallery to comment. My comment (state your name, city or affiliation, and your position of support or oppose) was, "Jennifer Heystek from San Leandro, California. I'm a licensed midwife and mother of a Latina preschooler with a PBE who will not be allowed to attend school. Thank you. I'm opposed." I made sure to look right at the chair, who is my assemblyperson, when I said my city and I added the Latina part for snark because of an earlier comment about how many African-American and Latino students had a PBE.
As soon as we made our comments, we left as quickly as we could, because we had to catch the train. We tried to catch a taxi but were once again refused. Geez. We even tried to split up, thinking the number of kids was scary to a driver. The first driver refused my friend but the second driver told me and O to just climb in. He was totally willing to drive us until the first driver reminded him we didn't have seats. Ugh.
We trudged the 10 blocks back to the station as quickly as we could. We were so physically and emotionally worn out, hungry, hot, sweaty, and just done. I had a pounding migraine. O hadn't slept all day. The other kids were fighting over who got to ride in the stroller. And we were running late for the train. We decided to literally run the last 5 blocks, and I got so winded in the heat that I started seeing stars and knew I was about to pass out. I think at that point I had a little conversation with God and my angels about why this was so difficult and what it was all for. I begged to let us make the train and to give me a sign that there was a meaning and a purpose beyond all the struggle and stress of this whole mess. As we ran up the walkway to the train, we saw it slowly pulling away from the station.
I wanted to cry. And pass out. And throw up.
Fortunately, there was one last train leaving Sac for Oakland, so we sat and waited an hour. While we were waiting, I kept checking Facebook on my phone for updates on how the vote went. When we left, I felt like the committee was split pretty much 50-50 and it could go either way. Just as we sat in our seats on the train, we saw that the vote had been 12-6 and the bill had passed out of the committee. The vote was split exactly down party lines, with all republicans voting against it and all democrats voting for it. Sickening.
As the train rolled away from the station, we headed to the food car to get some dinner. On our way back to our car, I noticed two guys sitting across from each other in the last row but it wasn't until we were back in our seats that I realized that one of the guys was my assemblymember! We ate our dinner but it kept bothering me that I had this perfect opportunity to talk to him and that I needed to take advantage of it. I finally worked up enough courage to go and say something but I also had a legitimate reason to go back to the food car, which was that I ran out of mustard for my sandwich. As I walked toward the guys, I stopped to introduce myself and he recognized my name right away because I did the whole, "I think you might know my husband..." thing and he also knew Lamar. I was surprised when he introduced me to his friend, who happened to be the assemblymember from Richmond. They were both so polite and welcoming. I don't even know how, but I ended up standing there talking with them for about 10 minutes. They said they recognized me from testifying at the hearing (what made me so recognizable, I wonder?) and they thanked me for being there today. I said our presence clearly didn't do any good and then we went into it. They asked me a bunch of questions about why I oppose the bill, and a bunch of stuff I honestly can't remember because I still can't believe the conversation happened. At some point I told them about the half dozen chartered busses that were fully funded by donations and traveled all night long to be there at the hearing for a 3 second chance to speak and how thousands of people waited in the sun and hot hallways for a chance to speak. I mentioned that the benefit of the bill passing through the committees each time just meant that our movement keeps growing. I told them some of the reasons people are opposed to the bill. I told them how it would affect our family, with O not being able to go to preschool, having to homeschool, and not being able to work. I just kept talking. I told them so much and yet there is so much more I wish I had said!
We talked about Louis and Lamar and O. I told them it made no sense that kids with HIV and Hep B are guaranteed the right to attend school but that perfectly healthy kids like my daughter won't be able to because they're not vaccinated. He asked me the same dumb "what about" question about kids who have weak immune systems and catch a disease from an unvaccinated kid. I pointed that that unvaccinated does not equal disease-ridden and then asked why there were kids with such weak immune systems. How were they born? Were they breastfed? What are their diets like? He stopped me to say he's a huge fan of breastfeeding and asked how long I breastfed O. I told him I hadn't stopped and they were both incredulous. He asked how long I was planning to continue and I told him until O was ready to stop. I told them the worldwide average age of weaning is five years old and they were all, "What!" lol
I told him my daughter was healthy because she was born at home, breastfed, ate an organic diet, and received health care from a chiropractor and a chinese medicine doctor. He asked me how I learned to do such things (ha!) and I told him I learned as a midwife and that I learned from the Holistic Moms Network and that I learned so much that I started my own chapter in San Leandro. Seriously, my mouth just kept spewing stuff out. I couldn't stop talking. I told him our family doesn't go to Kaiser for health care, and that we consider it appropriate for sick care only. He asked if Louis goes to Kaiser and I said no, that I take care of everything he needs at home. lol. Now I'm sure he thinks I'm a witch.
Overall, I was shocked that they seemed to have genuinely never heard this stuff before. They didn't seem to know why someone would oppose the bill. They didn't know how much people sacrificed to be there for the hearing. They didn't know people distrusted the medical system. Oh, I mentioned a bunch about being a midwife and doing home births and how I represented a lot of families who live just fine outside mainstream medicine.
The biggest thing that came up was when he asked me if I had ever had a vaccine reaction. I told him I had had a seizure as a kid. He asked me if I had considered getting a medical exemption based on my reaction, which is what the new amendment made possible. I told him I would try and asked him what I should do if and when I was refused. He asked me to contact him office since he was my representative. I told him I would do it. I shook their hands, thanked them, and went back to our car, where O was content with her snack.
When we finally made it home, I was just beat. Louis had to help me get O washed and changed and into bed. She fell asleep immediately and I thought I would too, but I got wrapped up in reading all the facebook posts and comments from the day. I also thought a lot about the medical exemption thing.
This morning, I asked my dad to text me a pic of my Kaiser immunization record. I pulled out my complete medical records and checked to see if I could find anything close to qualifying for an exemption. I don't know why I even mentioned the seizure thing because it hadn't been called that by my parents, as far as I know. I just remember them telling me a story about how they were bathing me in the kitchen sink one day and my eyes rolled back in the head all of a sudden so they took me to the hospital.
My vaccine card showed that in early 1982, I received the polio, TB, and DTP shots in one day. In my medical records, just a couple months later, I found a record of my visit after the eye rolling incident, an order for an EEG, and found this: "Abnormal EEG because of spiking dysrhythmia as well as some irregular theta wave slowing largely localized to the left central derivations. At times there is some spread to homologous areas in the opposite hemisphere." And on the next page, "Jennifer is a 9 month old girl with a history of 3 short seizures with upwards deviation of eyes and alteration or loss of consciousness."
Holy.
I'm still letting that sink in, but I decided to take up my assemblyperson's suggestion and ask our pediatrician for an exemption. I was able to make an appointment for this morning (how did that happen!?) and I brought in my documentation. As expected, he declined to write the exemption, saying, in reference to my reaction to vaccines from 1982, "That's old school. We don't use those vaccines anymore." Apparently he knew "those vaccines" were dangerous then and he's so glad that we now have safe versions available. What? We ended up talking for quite a while about the bill, the new amendments, and what it would mean for him and for us if it become a law. He gave me the line about vaccines being good for public health, but reading between the lines, I understood something different. By the time I left, I had a new level of respect for him that I wasn't expecting. Even though I must have sounded completely crazy, he treated me respectfully and we had an intelligent conversation among peers.
With the exemption refusal, I drafted up a letter to my assemblyperson to let him know the amendment was essentially useless. My pediatrician who has been practicing for more than 30 years has only written 1 medical exemption in his career and isn't about to start now.
I posted my experience with the assemblymember, his request that I try for a medical exemption, and the refusal from the doctor on facebook groups today. The comments took off. I went to the holistic moms meeting tonight and shared the stories with the moms there. It was awesome to have a safe place to process exactly what happened yesterday. It's consuming all of us. We can't sleep and we're constantly on edge about what's going to happen.
When I came home tonight, Louis helped me finalize the letter and I just emailed it to the two assemblymembers I spoke with on the train. I was so nervous! No response yet but I have no idea what to expect. All I can do is my best to try to stop this bill. At least I feel like I'm doing something. Someone just called me a "warrior" on facebook :)
Maybe it was meant to be that we missed the train and I had a chance to talk to these guys. I'm keeping the faith that there is some meaning behind all this stress that I just don't understand yet. There has to be.
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