40 Weeks

Still pregnant. I'm 40 weeks tomorrow. Our midwife checked me earlier this week and we were all thrilled to learn that my cervix is 2 cm dilated and halfway thinned out, with the baby's head super low. I've been crampy all week. I know I'm still holding back but the only reason I can think of is that Louis isn't here yet. Today is his last day of work before his month long daddy leave. I think what feels missing is his presence. I want his focus and attention to be here with us, instead of on the hundreds of other things he has going on. I think that's it. Otherwise, everything is in place, literally, and ready to go. Last night was the only night all week that I slept through normally. I had been doing this weird thing of sleeping from 10-11 pm and then being wide awake until about 3 am. At first, I just tossed and turned and then finally learned to just get up and read, eat, and/or watch tv. It was such a weird feeling because I just could not fall asleep. When I finally made it to bed in the early morning, I could sleep but I felt so incredibly lazy when I would wake up and see that it was 10 am or so. What a crazy schedule. Yesterday I told myself I was just going to give up on any sort of schedule and just eat and sleep whenever I felt like it. And wouldn't you know, I slept through the night like normal. Figures. I'm really looking forward to having Louis at home.