Day 154

Still no Internet connection. I can't skype, edit photos taken on my phone, or respond to blog comments. Frustrating.

I'm a day behind, so this is about Tuesday, which really began Monday night, since I was working the overnight shift with A. We had a 16 year old client in labor with her first baby, but after a long day of no progress plus a request from the client, we decided to send her to the hospital. Transporting a client is never taken lightly here, because the women really want to avoid the hospitals even in El Paso but especially in Juarez. We really do everything we can to help women have their babies here. So, to have a client request to go to the hospital shows just how unusual the situation was. She left at about 10:30 at night. After our usual transport processing session, we decided to try to watch Pulp Fiction. I had never seen it before but had heard all kinds of things about it from a lot of people, so I was extra curious. We put it on and got through a significant amount before I had to turn it off. By that point, the other interns had gone to bed, and I just could not get into the movie at all. It was so not enjoyable.

After that, I decided I would try to sleep in my bed, knowing A would come get me if a client in labor arrived. I didn't realize just how tired I was, but I knew that when she showed up at my door at about 4 am, I was dead asleep. All I remember was that she was standing in my doorway going "wah wah wah 8 cm wah wah multip wah come now." For a moment, I thought it was a dream and that I would embarrass myself by going over to the clinic when there was no one there. But, I got out of bed anyway, threw my scrubs on, and headed over. Sure enough, a woman having her fourth baby had walked into the clinic at 8 cm dilated and her baby was going to arrive any minute.

A asked me to take the lead on the birth, and I realized that the intern on shift had never caught a baby before. *gulp* Yeah, no pressure there. I totally remember my very first catch, and how it important it was for me, so I knew I wanted to be extra sensitive to this intern. One of the best things about Casa for me has been that I came here thinking I was unteachable because that's essentially what I had been told by my preceptor at home. Here, though, I actually got guidance from midwives who said, "put your hands here, feel this, what do you think," etc. It was huge for me to actually be taught and to learn that I was more than capable of learning everything i needed to know.

When it came time for the client to push, I somehow became that person, the midwife who literally said, "put your hands here, like this, good!" to the intern, walking her through every step of catching the baby, delivering the placenta, monitoring mom and baby during the immediate postpartum, doing a comprehensive newborn exam, and generally taking care of mother and child. Hours later, after the birth certificate was signed, the chart was complete, client and baby were stable and happy, and the clinic was clean, I said goodnight. Just before I left the clinic, the intern surprised me with a huge hug as she thanked me for everything. She said she was so glad her first experience had been with me and that it had been so gentle and special. I genuinely complimented her on her new skills and hard work, and thanked her for the experience as well. I got all sentimental as I climbed into bed, thinking about how cool it was to be in this new role, knowing that I've completed a circle of sorts. Paying it forward for real.

Later in the morning, after I had gotten what ended up being a short nap, A came back to pick up an intern and I so we could go see a movie. They were so excited to see the new X-Men movie, and I basically decided to tag along, knowing I wouldn't enjoy it. Honestly, I'm a little embarassed to admit I really liked the movie! I totally got into it. Now, we're thinking about renting the rest of the X-Men movies this week, since I have now crawled out from under the rock where I had been living. Next, we'll have to do Lord of the Rings.

Next on Tuesday's agenda was a staff meeting at the clinic. I was the first one I have ever been invited to attend, since they are only open to staff midwives and the occasional resident. Now, I have been in rooms full of midwives before, but when it happens here, there is an unmistakable energy that exists, in such a wonderfully powerful way. The midwives here are extra special, and being in their presence is so humbling. I'm still somewhat in awe of their experiences, what they've seen, what they know, all that they offer, etc. I have so much respect for the staff midwives here. It was so wonderful to be included in the staff meeting. I have to wonder if I'll ever get used to their raunchy sense of humor, though. lol. Sometimes I'm still shocked at some of the things they say. I should make a bumper sticker that says, "Everything I wanted to know about ___, I learned at Casa."

After the staff meeting, I took another quick nap, did a load of laundry, and then got all dolled up for a night out at the club with A. She picked me up and we did each other's glitter eye make up, and then we were off for what ended up being one of the best nights of my life. It was Latin vs House night at the club, which was super fun. Afterwards, we drove around the city just talking for hours. We ended up at a lookout point in the mountains where you could see the whole El Paso/Juarez area all lit up at night. From our vantage point, even one of the most violent cities in the world looked peaceful and beautiful. It was just a really wonderful night, spent with one of the most important people in my life. I honestly could not have imagined living without knowing her.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.