What a day. We had a weird client in labor last night, on my last shift. I don't know how else to describe her, but she made everyone uneasy. She was in labor with her fourth baby, but it was taking forever for her to dilate. At one point, she confided that she really didn't want to give birth because she didn't want another baby. Heartbreaking. She fought her labor the whole way.
At 8 am or so, I said goodbye to A for the first time today, turned over the labor to the incoming midwife and intern, and headed to bed. A few hours later, the birth got coded just as I had finished getting dressed. I headed over to the clinic to observe the birth of this woman who was finally pushing. As the baby's head crowned, thick green meconium poured out of it's nose and mouth. Never a good thing.
As the midwife worked on resuscitating the baby (1 minute apgar of 2), I managed all the interns, barking out commands about who should do what, how, and when. I was the one to call 911, and found I was surprised by how calm I sounded. The paramedics came to transport the baby to the hospital, as it was still grunting and retracting. Poor baby girl was struggling so hard to breathe. We haven't heard yet how she's doing.
To add more emotional stuff to the day, I started saying goodbye to some of the staff and midwives today. It feels terrible.
A and I went out to see the second Lord of the Rings movie tonight. She got me hooked. I was so glad it was the extended version, because I knew what was coming at the end of the night. She dropped me off at the clinic, where we hugged and said our formal goodbyes. I tried to be so brave. I managed to hold back the flood of tears until I got into my room, and then I just fell apart. I sobbed the whole time I packed up all my stuff.
My bags are packed and I'm as ready as I can be for my road trip in a few hours. I am still excited about it, but my heart is breaking with so much love and appreciation for A and everyone else here who has made my time here into a life-changing experience I will forever cherish.
There just are no words.
1 comment:
I don't want to sound insensitive, but how much contraceptive education or pregnancy termination is available in this region? It seems like most of the clients you've mentioned are having 4 - 5 kids. This particular woman sounds like a heartbreaking case.
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